by Walt Whitman
PASSING stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a
dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours only nor
left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take of
my beard, breast, hands, in return,
I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at
night alone,
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.
Igor stumbled upon this poem, one of the many poems by the one who wrote Oh Captain! My Captain! And we were just amazed.
One time, we’re just reading it. Never knowing what will come next.
The next time we were interpreting it in different ways.
The Stranger is Love.
The Stranger is Another, but the poem is just about the feeling.
The Stranger is the Self. [Ate Erlyn opened up this interpretation. Just realized it though while she was reading it aloud too. ^_~]
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.
But if I am to write the last lines of the poem, and if The Stranger is indeed the self, I would write it as such:
I want to speak to you, I am thinking of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone,
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
I am to see to it that I do not lose [to] you.
I once wrote before that I wanted to “finally NOT live for myself any longer”. I want to share. I want to give. I want to be for others.
But how can I do anything, how can I share, when right now, I have been living too thinly and just getting-by the necessities of the worldly circumstances? How can I be anything else, when I can’t even define what I currently am?
No, I am not confused as I used to be [when it comes to knowing the self and such... I am confused with other matters, though. XD]. I have been abundantly blessed, actually, and I have so many reasons to be uberly thankful!
But it’s just that, in the little corners of all these smiles and happiness and glee everyday, suddenly, the third month blues start to hunt me… because it’s as if I’m anticipating the road ahead… and it’s quite fearful. Will it be safe and convenient? Will it be nice and dandy or challenging? Will I be happy to take it? And all of these make me palpitate real hard.
Well, I have no choice anyway. [See, that's me worrying.]
And I think, the uncertainty here comes from unknowing. And the weird thing is, it’s as if I have no urge to want to know IT. It’s as if I’m running away from it, or I tend to merely forget about it.
But, I think I just need to condition myself. To practice. To be.
.o0o.
When I meet The Stranger, my first question will be: May I know you?
